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The Importance of Being Witness When Ready to Heal

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The Importance of Being Witnessed

Last week I had a remarkable dream where I not only forgave someone who has hurt my family very deeply, but offered this person a peace offering. I woke up feeling lighter than I have for quite a while.

The truth is that I would not have had that dream, danced that dance or been able to feel that shift if my husband Daniel hadn't WITNESSED THE FEELINGS I NEEDED TO RELEASE.

Sometimes emotional distress can run deep and the idea of forgiving might seem doable in the moment,but TRULY letting go of the pain can FEEL IMPOSSIBLE!

This applies to ALL of your relationships:

Love Relationships Family Ties Friendships Society at large Yourself

We are all doing the best we can.

We all face our own traumas, fears and failures behind closed doors. It is WHAT WE DO with our OWN feelings that can CHANGE EVERYTHING!

I needed someone to witness my pain to release it. We can all have moments when we feel powerless to an inner conflict or a conflict with another. You may have felt you have moved past it. Yet maybe hours, days or weeks later you can feel the resentment and hard feelings seep back in like a sudden chill.

That is usually a sign that you have some stuck feelings lingering that need to be worked out. So what does it mean to be witnessed to release.


Easier said then done, but I have found that one of the main keys for really releasing any and ALL pain from head, heart, body and soul is OWNING the HARD FEELINGS YOU are FEELING!

They are YOURS



2. FIND a Safe Person To WITNESS

Over the past few months, I have been asking my husband to witness my deepest, rawest and ugliest thoughts and feelings when they show up. Just watch and witness. There are no need for your person to share their opinions, impressions, support, surprise, pain or advice. Their only job is to hold space while you LET GO. I am lucky enough to have deeply caring friends and healers who would also allow this incredible work to be done, but to be able to be seen and held in real time with your deepest loved one is definitely an added bonus.

3. Ask your Person to Witness silently and Allow yourself to: Cry Wail Be angry Be fragile Feel all of your feelings Say all the dark thoughts stuck in your head Ask your body to expose its hiding places Let your heart aches 4. Share Your Gratitude for your Safe Container

When you feel like you have emptied your container and are ready to be filled back up, start with letting your witness know how much it meant to you.

Honor your relationship with them AND yourself. Feel held and heard. Feel validated. Celebrate the release! YOU just did some very BIG WORK!



Shout out to the heavens Journal

Hug someone

Take a bath Run naked through the woods

Howl at the moon

So ask yourself:

"Do I have someone in my life that I am completely safe enough with that I can let myself ugly cry, scream and shout and let my deepest hurts out in a non-judgmental environment? I hope the answer is YES. If you need someone, call me. I will hold space for you.

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